Many of us don’t break up with a significant other when we should, for many different reasons. Some of us are afraid to be alone; others give in to what is called the sunk cost fallacy (“I’ve already invested so much time and effort in this relationship, I can’t give up now”). But most of … Read more
Taming the Cycle by Sharon Mead, LMFT is a lighthearted introduction to one of the key elements of Emotionally Focused Therapy for anyone who wants to improve their relationship and start toward a lasting and secure bond.
Between domestic duties and emotional labor, research shows, women are more stressed than men are — but it doesn’t have to be that way. Here’s what the data says, and how to take care of yourself. “I was a workaholic. I love to create things, grow them and solve problems,” said Meng Li, a successful … Read more
Why is Fyodor Dostoevsky considered one of the greatest novelist to live? In his memoir, Ernest Hemingway claimed that he couldn’t get through any of his books because of how poorly written they were. And there is truth to that: Dostoevsky isn’t known for his flowery prose. There is, however, something else to his appeal. … Read more
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a short-term (8 – 20 sessions) and structured approach to couples’ therapy developed by Drs. Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg in the 1980’s. It is grounded in research while focusing on negative communication patterns and love as an attachment bond. Attachment Theory “Attachment” between people typically provides a safe haven: … Read more
A beautiful and poignant video which lends itself to talking about perspective and how good counseling can help one widen their perspective. This is a personal video that was shot at Lake Mary in the Mammoth Lakes area. A local bear I call Mother Mary (because of the lake where she committed the offense of … Read more
Sue Johnson, author of “Love Sense”, placed on her website a song by Christina Aguilera that I thought captures the essence of what EFT therapy tries to facilitate when couples are in distress and desperately wanting to find a way back towards each other. It is so moving, I wanted to share this video with … Read more
The Dunning-Kruger effect is a type of cognitive bias in which people believe that they are smarter and more capable than they really are. Essentially, low ability people do not possess the skills needed to recognize their own incompetence. The combination of poor self-awareness and low cognitive ability leads them to overestimate their own capabilities. … Read more
